WHAT WOULD MRS. ASTOR DO?: The Essential Guide to the Manners and Mores of the Gilded Age, about serious party people

WHAT WOULD MRS. ASTOR DO?: The Essential Guide to the Manners and Mores of the Gilded Age
CECILIA TICHI
NYU Press (non-affiliate Bookshop.org link)
$16.99 ebook, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: This illustrated Gilded Age etiquette guide offers "proof that sliding around the naughty edges of society can be as informative as it is entertaining." (Alida Becker, The New York Times Books Review)

Mark Twain called it the Gilded Age. Between 1870 and 1900, the United States' population doubled, accompanied by an unparalleled industrial expansion and an explosion of wealth. America was the foremost nation of the world, and New York City was its beating heart. There, the richest and most influential—Thomas Edison, J. P. Morgan, Edith Wharton, the Vanderbilts, Andrew Carnegie, and more—became icons, whose comings and goings were breathlessly reported in the papers of Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst. It was a time of abundance, but also bitter rivalries. The Old Money titans found themselves besieged by a vanguard of New Money interlopers eager to gain entrée into their world. Into this morass of money and desire stepped Caroline Astor.

An Old Money heiress of the first order, Mrs. Astor was convinced that she was uniquely qualified to uphold the manners and mores of 19th century America. "What would Mrs. Astor do?" became the question every social climber sought to answer. This work serves as a guide to manners as well as an insight to Mrs. Astor's personal diary and address book. Ceceilia Tichi invites us on a beautifully illustrated tour of the Gilded Age, transporting readers to New York at its most fashionable.

I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA EDELWEISS+. THANK YOU.

My Review: So much beauty and opulence shoved up to the surface by so much greed and theft.

Let's not go there this close to the leanest Yule in many a long year. We're not remotely out of the woods economically, but this book is about a time where the economic situation was far, far worse. It's discussed in here, though not exhaustively. It's a social history, it's about how etiquette came to matter so much, which of course requires we know a bit about how the men, all men, stole...made, sorry...so very much money to support the women's social construct.

the lady herself, in her finery painted for posterity

The very idea of entertaining at home was made aspirational by the "Four Hundred" (the number who could fit in Mrs. Astor's ballroom); as late as the 1960s, the idea was prevalent, and while the means changed, the manners barely did.

my generation certainly heard Emily Post's name, same woman and mostly the same advice

Lina Astor was an insufferable snob. Her ballroom was for "the best people," whose money was so old no one living could remember the hustler who got it. Nouveau riche industrialists' wives need not apply. It was a world she ruled, but it was a reign of terror that had to be agreed to; there was nothing forcing anyone into this restrictive social contract except made-up ideas like prestige.

two robber-baron "homes," Manhattan and Newport

Oh, and money of course. Lots and lots and lots of money.Author Tichi does not bear down heavy on the whole "robber baron" thing. There's no way around the money ocean they swam in. It's rather the point of a beautiful, illustrated book about luxury.

smart excessories...I mean accessories!...for Madame and Sir

It's astonishing what boredom does to a person. This time period, up to then the richest in world history, led to wealth disparities but also to the cementing of the idea that one could live a life not mere have an existence. Vacations to exotic places, to different places than you frquented as usual anyway, and recreational shopping (a Georgian idea embraced effusively by the Astor set) became ordinary for these wealthy folk:

shopping and sitting, two "fun" things

What I enjoyed most about this read was the way Author Tichi left it to me to judge, presenting facts and showing (as you see) examples and artifacts for me to decide what I thought about. We are in a new Gilded Age of wealth disparity, and at an economic crossroads, just like these folk were. We need to think carefully about what we individually do, because that becomes by default collective action.

The gifting season should be replete with beautiful tokens of love and affection; that doesn't mean they can't be thought-provoking, interesting, and relevant, too.

then, a residence; now a museum