HENRY TUDOR MUST DIE, feminist historical revenge fantasy about a notable femicidal maniac

HENRY TUDOR MUST DIE
JILLIAN LAINE
Berkley Books (non-affiliate Bookshop.org link)
$14.99 ebook, available now

Rating: 4.5* of five

The Publisher Says: One queen exiled. Another headed for the gallows. Both hungry for revenge. England’s most infamous queens set out to reclaim their story and unite in vengeance against Henry VIII.

Anne Boleyn is going to die, and neither her cleverness nor her witchery can save her. So when her late rival, Catalina de Aragón, miraculously appears in her cell at the Tower of London on the eve of her execution, very much alive and offering a daring escape plan, no one is more surprised than Anne.

Lina doesn’t have Anne’s magic—but she has just as much hate for England’s wretched king. Severed from her daughter and stripped of all her influence, Lina breathes only for the Hellebore Sisterhood, a clandestine and powerful society with a vested interest in keeping both queens alive…and using their particular skills to advance womankind.

Anne and Lina’s old rivalries pale in comparison to a common enemy. One by one, they capture their pawns, infiltrating the court, recruiting the new queens in Henry’s orbit, and eliminating the men who plotted against them. Always inching closer to their true target…

And they want his head.

I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.

My Review: What if the serial-killing society-wrecking lying scumbag H8 had been telling the truth (for once) when he accused Anne Boleyn of being a witch? What if the recently-deceased rightful queen,here called by her proper name Catalina de Aragón, shows up in Anne's cell before her murder as a representative of the Hellebore Sisterhood, a supernatural group determined not to put up with H8's shenanigans against women?

As a fantasia, the musical composition sense applied to fiction, on the awful facts of Tudor England, it struck many a satisfying note. (My biggest quibble is with lesbian Anna of Cleves. It feels silly, but good lord I'm not quibbling about a months-dead Catholic lady from religious-nut Spanish parentage appearing in her adulterous replacement's cell to rescue her from her judicial murder so never bloody mind about that I guess.) H8's reign is one I'm always interested to read disruptions and alterations of because he was such a pill. Because his greed, his arrogance, his utter self-regarding solipsism was so hugely consequential in all the worst ways on England's social fabric that it always makes me smile in schadenfreudic glee when a writer unleashes hell on him.

Unleashing hell is a plan for the Queens in this revenge fantasy. I don't think another ragefest of this type would necessarily fly, or at least it wouldn't with me, absent such a horrific target for the Queens' H8rade punch. It gets pretty, uhhhmmm, vivid so it won't leave you in any doubt about why the subject of their (out)rage is chosen, and thus leading you to who the Hellebore Sisterhood might be. It's a topic I'd love to discuss but one huge spoiler tag might cover it but will also drive potential readers away. I'm here for more Hellebore Sisterhood stories if you choose to write them, Author Jillian.

And that coming from a man, who is not a massive fantasy-readin' lover of the tropes, ought to say a lot. I think as alternate-history stories about these Queens they're no great shakes, failing the believability test at literally every turn; they're not meant to be alternate-history stories but fantasies set in an alternate universe where there are other rules for physics. None of this is going to convince wedded-to-consensus-reality reader to drop their filters, so my purpose is to warn those folks to shop elsewhere. None of this story will work for you.

Author Jillian's debut adult novel is a delight if you'll let go of the slavish adherence to plausibility rules about history retellings. It's easier to write straightforward fantasy where one invents a secondary world with all-new names and no stroppy literalists who Have Opinions about bent, folded, spindled, and mutilated Reality. I myownself greatly prefer Author Jillian's way of engaging with one of History's most fascinating inflection points.

What explains my missing half-star is a certain lesbian. That really did feel like I'd been asked to go a bridge too far. I'm an old grouch, I get to have crotchets just because. I want to draw your attention to the remaining four and a half shiny stars to have my reputation as a discerning judge of quality entertainment validated.