ROBBY RIVERTON: MAIL ORDER BRIDE
ELI EASTON
Pinkerton Road LLC (non-affiliate Amazon link)
99¢ Kindle edition, available now
Rating: 4* of five
The Publisher Says: Being a fugitive in the old west shouldn’t be this much fun.
The year is 1860. Robby Riverton is a rising star on the New York stage. But he witnesses a murder by a famous crime boss and is forced to go on the run--all the way to Santa Fe. When he still hasn't ditched his pursuers, he disguises himself as a mail order bride he meets on the wagon train. Caught between gangsters that want to kill him, and the crazy, uncouth family of his "intended", Robby's only ally is a lazy sheriff who sees exactly who Robby is -- and can't resist him.
Trace Crabtree took the job as sheriff of Flat Bottom because there was never a thing going on. And then Robby Riverton showed up. Disguised as a woman. And betrothed to Trace’s brother. If that wasn’t complication enough, Trace had to find the man as appealing as blueberry pie. He urges Robby to stay undercover until the danger has passed. But a few weeks of having Robby-Rowena at the ranch, and the Crabtree family will never be the same again.
My Review: One entire star off for four uses of the dreadful, icky, overused-in-MM-romances w-verb. It's lazy and it's bad writing. *tsk*
The story itself sparkles and fizzes with excitement. The murder Robby witnesses in New York City is chilling and makes his terror and his addlepated decision to run away make perfect sense. I'd be terrified and addled as well! Robby's wagon train trip west isn't very detailed but it's got the sense of urgency that a more thorough explanation wouldn't serve. And the real Rowena Fairchild is a major pill, despite her perfect depiction:
She was statuesque, well-bred, and finely dressed. She had light-brown hair that flirted with the idea of being red and a starry sky’s worth of freckles on her nose and cheeks.
Oh my. I can see her. I've known ladies who fit this description to a T. Author Easton makes them appear before my mind's eye.
The way Robby and Trace Crabtree get entangled on Rowena/Robby's arrival in Santa Fe is farcical fun. I loved that they knew right off the other was attracted to their real selves. It makes the sexual tension so much more delicious, like Jack Lemmon finding out Joe E. Brown knew he was in drag all along in Some Like It Hot.
"God, I need one hour without skirts wrapping around my knees every time I move—and this blasted bonnet! I swear it was designed by Satan himself. I will be in heaven the day I can set fire to the cursed thing.”
The Crabtree family secret was a little out of left field, but made me laugh out loud when it was discovered by a stunned Robby. Their antics were just so innocent to cause all the angst they did, but I could believe them in this context. I sure as hell would laugh at the Crabtrees for doing what they do.
{Pa-Pa} pointed a finger around the table.
“Ya need to be on your best behavior for two whole weeks. And no you-know-what!”
Robby blinked. That wasn’t ominous at all. No what? Dancing naked in the living room? Cooking human body parts? Smacking around the wives?
Robby's ability to talk Pa-Pa Crabtree around to being sweet on him in no time flat was a little bit of a stretch, but I could see the dramatic need. I know Robby would've talked anyone around in the end, so I went with it. I loved the way Robby dug out the big family secret and made the whole troop of men confront their fears and pain without judgment. That was a lovely touch.
Trace felt a pang of warmth at Pa’s praise. It was so rare. And goddamn but he hated that he could still want the old man’s approval.
The events leading to the ending had me clenched in tense anticipation and I was saved from nervous collapse by the fact that this is a happily-ever-after genre. I do declare I'd've been prostrated if it wasn't. I was gnawing my knuckles for the last 20% of the book! The tension was skillfully ratcheted up and the stakes as high as they get for everyone. Trace shines in his focused obsessive need to fix what's broken throughout the book.
The idea that Robby might find that someday, with someone else, caused such an awful, crushing feeling that Trace had to stop that line of thought dead.
The others' reactions to Trace and Robby after the game is revealed are...well...I don't know, maybe some more conversations around the subject? I was a little left out, it seemed, of the consequences of Robby's deception to the Crabtrees, with the exception of Clovis the defrauded groom.
“There ain’t a person alive who could cast you into shadow, Robby Riverton. I can’t imagine you’re ever in a room where ya ain’t the most fascinatin’ thing in it. I can’t keep my eyes off ya. Guess that’s what they call charisma. No wonder you were a star in New York.”
–and–
“I just want you to know,” Robby said, his voice thick. “That I love you, Trace. I really do. And I know that doesn’t change the way things are. But I just...wanted you to have that to keep. However you want to keep it. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me.”
Also...1860, when the story was ostensibly set, was President Buchanan's term in office. I think the year Trace ran off is more like 1865 or he wouldn't have joined the army as a sharpshooter. Either he fought in the Civil War, at the tail end of it, or joined up and fought in the Plains Wars against the Comanche or Apache that hotted up around 1867. "President Hayes" is mentioned, making the earliest date for the story 1877; all in all, I think 1880 works, and that'd also explain the railroad fever mentioned at the end of the story.
As an experience of storytelling, this was a solid hit for me. I need to escape reality right now. I make no bones about it. Serious and weighty things are happening in the bigger world and in my own stretch of it. My reading needs to soothe me, not challenge me. And this story was just what the escapist ordered.
“Honey, I’m just as happy to sit in this here town with you until we grow old.” And so . . . that’s what they did.
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