THE BUCOLIC PLAGUE, hilarious story of two wealthy-ish gay guys who leave Manhattan for Upstate! Scary!

THE BUCOLIC PLAGUE: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir
JOSH KILMER-PURCELL
HarperCollins
$13.99 ebook editions, available now

Rating: 3.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Michael Perry meets David Sedaris in this follow-up to Josh Kilmer-Purcell’s beloved debut memoir. Another riotous, moving, and entirely unique story of his attempt to tackle the next phase of life with his partner… on a goat farm in upstate New York.

My Review: Oh no you don't! No sighing, sneaking past this review, and saying how good it is! Sit there and READ this.

Josh and Brent, two of the most annoyingly perfectionist queens Manhattan has ever sucked into its lapidary drum of the effete, are bare-naked and warty as all get-out in this hilarious, touching, brutally honest memoir by the tall one. (Josh.) And he memoirs the way it feels to be human, alive, selfish and self-absorbed and sweet and lovable better than most. He's honest about how hard it is to work like a (highly paid) slave so you can have a dream come true. Then, as so many before him have, he wonders when in the HELL he's going to have time to enjoy the said dream.

Then there's the short one. (Brent.) He isn't writing the book, so of course he doesn't get all the best lines. Just most of them. He's the alpha perfectionist of the pair...good gravy, he worked for MARTHA STEWART!...and he decides, on hearing the tall one articulate his dream to live in their fantabulously gorgeous mansionfarm full time, that He Will Make This Happen. Because he loves, so much, the tall one. The scene in the book where they have that conversation, about why they'd have to give the place up in the rancid economy of 2008, made me cry. What they wanted, what their dreams hung on, *pffft* because the rotten shits on Wall Street wanted morebiggerfatter bonuses.

Now these two aren't guiltless little cogs in the Murrikin Machine, mind. They were both in the sizzle biz, taking home oodles of the spondulix selling people an unattainable dream's unattainable health goals for old farts (the short one) and unnecessary, overpriced goods and services (the tall one). But they made so much more out of their lives...they worked hard, they deserved their success...than the standard script for rural gay boys reads.

And then they found, accidentally and because the tall one is a lousy navigator, the perfect place to turn their well-honed swordsmanship skills at these useless pursuits into the plowshares of a real, and really funny, and very satisfying life.

Their website makes me drool. (Not over them, keep your minds out of the gutter.) The farm, the recipes, the products, the involving and addictive blogs, and of course Polka Spot the llama are tremendous pleasures.

Their TV show, The Fabulous Beekman Boys, was a gem and it's worth seeking out on Amazon Prime. I know that Discovery Networks pulled the plug on the whole channel they ran on, but I'm not over it yet (ten years isn't long enough to forgive). This is Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House for the 21st century (also Amazonable!). Buy it, read it, and heavenly days, recommend it to your friends! The boys need money! Farmer John's goats don't eat air, and that hip replacement wasn't free, and the boys have aging parents who'll need to come live with them soon enough.

Think of the scuff marks. Poor short one. (Brent.)