SANTA DADDY, kink romance for celebrating the holiday

SANTA DADDY
KEIRA ANDREWS
self-published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$4.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Mall Santas aren’t supposed to be hot!

Hunter is hopelessly adrift after college. He’s still romantically inexperienced, can’t find a real job, and has no clue what to do with his life. Desperate, he returns to his humiliating old gig as an elf at the Santa's Village in his hometown's dying mall.

Enter the sexiest Santa ever.

Twice Hunter's size and age, lumberjack Nick makes Hunter tingle. Too bad he's super grumpy and intimidating. Years after the tragic death of his partner, Nick has his beagle and long, hard days on his Christmas tree farm. That’s plenty. But he can’t refuse a loyal friend’s plea for help and finds himself filling in as Santa. Despite Nick's attempt to stay aloof, the beautiful, anxious young man playing elf brings out his long-dormant daddy instincts.

Then a surprise blizzard traps them alone in Nick’s isolated forest home. Will they surrender to the sizzling spark between them and find the release and comfort they crave?

Santa Daddy is a sweet and spicy holiday gay romance from Keira Andrews featuring an age gap, m/m first times, role playing, Christmas romance feels, and of course a happy ending.

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My Review: Spicy indeed! Eww-ick homophobes strongly cautioned.

Workplace romance that would get both guys canned (!) in 2025, with an age gap that would cause serious high-volume tuttage from the puritanical purseylipped posse of pisspots who decide these things for other people. I trust my strenuous exercise of kindness and diplomacy is masking my real feelings from their gaze or further contumely will head my way.

Those tedious persons dispensed with, we'll now enter the chatroom.

These men are insta-lust bonded, as a novella's limited size demands, and believably so to me, as they're each in very needy stages of their lives. Nick's lost a partner long enough ago that he's past the rawness of fresh grief. Hunter's out of school, transitioning to adulthood and as astrologers say, "void of course." He's casting about for what to do now, and meeting Nick plants the seeds of a future he realizes he wants. Nick, as Santa, is incongruous being so majorly studly and not a little grumpy of affect. Te saving grace for Nick is the way Hunter brightens his world. It's a little uncomfortable, he's told himself he's a hookups-only kinda guy, but Hunter...gets under his skin.

Of course he can't show that to Hunter. He presents himself as cold and judgmental. He's ready to be more but this is who he's been for so long that, well, the mask became the man.

Hunter's not having it. He's hot for the body and convinced there's a volcano under the snowpack. He's excited by the domineering way Nick chastises him for being late to work...he's got his kinky side...and wants a bit of the heat he feels coming off their mutual interest.

Generally daddy kink needs more room to develop than a novella. It works better if we see the men settling into their roles in the lifestyle, see them negotiating their needs from each other and finding the balance point between love and desire. That's something that's rushed through...dare I say past...in Santa Daddy.

I think this is a good chance to say these guys were made for this kink, they were just waiting for the right partner to come along. Nick even has moments, like in Ghost, where his dead partner urges him to let loose and live again. It's creepy to the materialists, but I see it as his own emotional system communicating his real feelings using imagery he'll trust to be truthful and safe.

You're getting a good, happy-results holiday story and a nicely smexy package it's wrapped inside, with most all Keira Andrews stories. This one is a good example of a shorter-than optimal version.

MY EX-HUSBAND'S EX-HUSBAND, clever, witty novel about something I bet has already happened

MY EX-HUSBAND'S EX-HUSBAND
RACHEL COHN & MELISSA de la CRUZ
Little A (non-affiliate Bookshop.org link)
$16.99 paperback, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: From New York Times bestselling authors Rachel Cohn and Melissa de la Cruz comes a freewheeling journey through Vienna where two estranged friends search for their mutual ex—and a long-lost bond.

Audrey and Ian were best friends—until they fell in love with the same man. To be precise, they fell in love with, married, and divorced the same man. And there’s no coming back from that.

Twenty-odd years later, they’re right back at the beginning: Vienna, where their university study abroad turned into a love triangle from which they never quite recovered. But it’s Christmas, and Audrey’s daughter is getting married. Time to let bygones be bygones.

Not for the sake of the holiday or even because they’ve matured with age…but because their mutual ex is nowhere to be found. It’s up to Audrey and Ian to track him down.

As wedding plans go further awry, the former besties race to find the father of the bride. Juggling complicated family dynamics (and the cocktails required to cope), they learn that, sometimes, it’s not about the search but the friendships rediscovered along the way.

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My Review: A Yuletide wedding has only one thing going for it that I can see: no way to forget the date. Making the wedding itself a destination wedding? In Europe, where you need a passport and a pile of cash to travel? Well, we know already who these folks are hangin' with. Not the likes of my broke-ass self.

But let's go with the fantasy. I love a holiday romantic story. The set-up for this one's irresistible...Ian and Audrey having to solve the problem of their mutual ex-husband, the deeply self-centered borderline narcissist Beau—aptly named thing of beauty and a boy forever—ghosts Izzy (Isadora, as in Duncan) their daughter/stepdaughter on her Christmas wedding day. This is far from the first time he's behaved this thoughtlessly to either of them but they're willing to rally together to keep him from ruining their dear Izzy's slapped-together last-minute dream.

It's a romance, there is no mystery about the Happily Ever After. It's all the banter and shenanigans that make it fun to read.As Audrey and Ian mobilize to get Beau's butt where he said it would be for once, they rekindle their own badly damaged trust in each other. It's that relationship that each of them really missed, really values.

Told in alternating first-person chapters as the hunt for Beau takes the two recovering co-dependent besties from pillar to post and back again, the story sees them heal their fractured lives, their fractured friendship, and their mutual step/daughter's wildly impulsive disaster in the making. Izzy's choice of husband, her younger daughter Max's choice of a life, her testy, curmudgeonly ex-mother-in-law's rudderless aimless bad mood...Audrey's love life and Ian's love life, Beau's jerk personality all fixed as well.

It's a romance, the spoiler would be telling you *how* not *that* it all works out! I was pleased to be along for this goofy ride because, as each corner was turned, I thought "oh sure, that makes sense" exactly never. Instead I was treated to improbable, amusing solutions to the entire crew's problems. Hey, this is a wedding for two young Americans in Vienna, Austria, at the city's busiest time and there's no scheduling conflicts. This is not reality.

But it sure was fun.

SOPHIE SULLIVAN'S PAGE: YOU MAKE IT FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS, latest rom-com contemporary; & A GUIDE TO BEING JUST FRIENDS, Jansen Brothers #3

YOU MAKE IT FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS
SOPHIE SULLIVAN
St. Martin's Griffin (non-affiliate Bookshop.org link)
$11.99 ebook, available now

Rating: 3.75* of five

The Publisher Says: All bets are off when a single-minded photographer and a professional hockey player are forced to spend a week together on his sister’s Christmas tree farm, perfect for fans of Jenny Holiday and Maggie Knox.

Maisie Smart has a don’t-look-back policy–not on the choice she made to be a photographer (despite her family’s wishes) and not on the one-night stand she had six months ago. Sleeping with someone she barely knew was out of character; sleeping with a professional hockey player who bolted the morning after is a whole new level of embarrassing. Getting invited to spend the week at Tickle Tree Farm with her family this Christmas is a sure way to fill her with holiday spirit. Until the universe throws a Grinch in her festive plans in the form of the one man she hoped to avoid.

Nick King is a mess. After a significant injury lands him on the bench for every game for the rest of the month, he has more time to dwell on the one night stand he can’t get out of his head. With time on his hands, his anxiety hovering, and the holidays around the corner, he figures visiting his sister and nephew at their Christmas tree farm will be a good way to lie low and sort himself out. He’s in for a surprise when it turns out Maisie is staying at his sister’s and his attraction for her hasn’t lessened one bit in the last six months. Apparently, neither has her anger at him for bailing. But Christmas is the time for second chances, and the forced proximity may help Nick and Maisie unwrap feelings neither of them can walk away from twice.

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My Review: Apart from renaming "Maisie" to be "Mason" and switching her pronouns...or "how I always read romantic fiction in the past"...nothing needed changing for me to thoroughly enjoy this holiday-themed romance. Its lower-steam (pun intended; you'll have to read the book to see why it is one) level meant I did fairly little skippidy-doo-dah to avoid the squick factor. The forced proximity worked better for me than it usually does because they were both there with their families for a holiday, therefore everyone was very much inclined to find the fun and humor in everything to offset family stress.

Of course they end up in love, it's a category romance. The set-up gives them both real, honest issues to overcome. It's a hallmark (!) of the best contemporary romances to keep the stakes grounded in at the very least plausible conflicts between the couple. Sophie Sullivan is a top-quality practitioner of her craft. Below is another review of one of her works, with a link to an earlier one I read and enjoyed in that series. Suffice to say, I admire craft professionalism wherever I find it.

Nick, in particular, is drawn as a man whose competitive edge is rooted in his need to measure up to his own standards. It's more palatable as a motivation to win than the ordinary need to dominate others. His strong bond to his sister, and his desire to be there in his nephew's life, show that Author Sullivan made Nick's anxiety over his injury and its possible consequences consistent with really positive-feeling issues that still need addressing to move forward in all parts of his life. Needing to contextualize his anxiety and to find good, healthy coping mechanism for it, offer him the additional benefit of being able, and willing, to invite the intriguing and interesting new love into his life on a sound footing.

One of my Goodreads friends really described my response to this read best: "If you’ve ever wanted your holiday rom-com to suddenly morph into therapy with tree ornaments, you’re in for a treat." No one in the entire story does not need some help sorting through their self-defeating behaviors, and responses to others' behaviors, so the playing field is level throughout. It felt very much like being in a positive group therapy session where everyone's honestly trying their damnedest to do the right thing.

Why I'm only at a hair under four stars has to do with the way the mother/daughter conflict utterly dominates the second half of the story. I'm aware that this is a major source of unhappiness for lots and lots of women in the world, I'd've liked a bit less rancor delivered with the effort to reconnect to the genuine loving root of their relationship.

So I was not utterly ensorceled by the story. I was impressed and pleased at how much Nick's efforts to recover a positive mental frame for his ongoing anxiety were foregrounded. I only wanted a bit less of the focus to be on the angrier emotional valance; it's the holidays, let's have *some* fantasy elements!

A top quality read, no matter what.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A GUIDE TO BEING JUST FRIENDS (Jansen Brothers #3)
SOPHIE SULLIVAN
St. Martin's Griffin (non-affiliate Bookshop.org link)
$9.99 ebook, available now

Rating: 3.75* of five

The Publisher Says: A playful and emotional romantic comedy from the author of Ten Rules for Faking It

Hailey Sharp has a one-track mind. Get By the Cup salad shop off the ground. Do literally everything possible to make it a success. Repeat. With a head full of entrepreneurial ideas and a bad ex in her rearview, her one and only focus is living life the way she wants to. No distractions.

Wes Jansen never did understand the fuss about relationships. With a string of lackluster first dates and the pain from his parents’ angry divorce following him around, he’d much rather find someone who he likes, but won’t love. Companionship, not passion, is the name of the game.

When Hailey and Wes find each other in a disastrous meet cute that wasn’t even intended for them, they embarrassingly go their separate ways. But when Wes finds Hailey to apologize for his behavior, they strike a friendship. Because that’s all this can be. Hailey doesn’t want any distractions. Wes doesn’t want to fall in love.

What could possibly go wrong?

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My Review: After HOW TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR's review from 2022, I got a widget for this book. Accepting it took a minute because, well, straight people's relationship/bedroom issues do not command much attention or sympathy from me.

But Author Sullivan, I reminded myself, doesn't do headboard-knockin' sex or teary-eyed, wearying angst! And so I was sold, again. I'm glad to say that Wes and Hailey were companionable and deciding interesting problems together.

Yes, that's right, I said "together." Wes listens when Hailey talks to him; Hailey, for her part, is glad to have a friend who really *does* listen. There's a couple in a category romance that support each other's goals because they take the time to learn what those goals are. I honestly thought Wes's desire to date a woman for good and ever was ridiculous, but that didn't really last. I knew he was kidding himself, I think anyone over 30 would, and Hailey's relentless focus on her weird salad-in-a-cup thing was always going to burn out.

This read was what I wanted as I read it. I did not need more stress, but I did need some story-beats to hold my attention. This story ended the Jansen Brothers series, which were decent and involving stories; I know now there's more stories comin' (see above) with Author Sullivan's balanced plotting...neither party is perfect; neither party is a basket case...and gift for acerbic observations.

I'd say it's a worthwhile series to read, though the order you read them in is unimportant. I'll take another widget, if St. Martin's/Griffin is offering. Your need for just-enough of all the usual plot dressings in a category romance will determine your desire to procure one for yourself.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST KNOW, age-gap found-family gay male romance

SOMETIMES YOU JUST KNOW
BILL VAN PATTEN
Self-published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$4.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 3.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Can a thirty-year-old man overcome his fears and find love? Arnie Violet is the son of an alcoholic mother and a father who abandoned him at the age of ten. Believing himself unlovable, he lacks self-confidence in everything from work to romance. Then, Arnie meets eighteen-year-old Peter Jordan. Peter is the opposite of Arnie: self-assured, frank, and assertive.

There is an instant attraction between them, but warning bells sound in Arnie’s head. His relationships never last long, there is a major age difference between the two men, and most importantly, Peter is his boss’s nephew. With the help of a new friend, Arnie embarks on a journey of self-discovery and learns to let go of the past and lean into life.

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My Review: The synopsis is very precise and on-point, so we go into this read with a clear roadmap of the journey. It's not suspenseful...it is compelling to me, whose experiences of life are very close to Arnie's minus the maternal alcoholism. Abandoned by a father whose selfishness was complete? Check! Emotionally abused by a codependent mentally ill mother? Check! Involved in an age-gap romance? Check!

I know from reading the author's bio that he's telling us a story rooted in his own gay-male experience. This comes through in many facets of Arnie's story, and none more clearly than the opening scene where Arnie is raked over the coals by his supervisor, Rachel, not for the first or even tenth time, in the cruelest and most belittling way. This sets the tone for the read: Arnie in an awful and humiliating position, painfully unable to defend or extract himself from it.

As the narration is all third-person limited, we're privy to all the ways the action mirrors his past abuse. It can feel a bit repetitive, but it definitely sets the stakes. This is a man with a huge hill to climb just to get up to "bad." When glimmerings of good things come to him, if he even recognizes them, he's immediately on the alert for the fuckening. This being a romantic story, we know this is what we're here to watch him triumph over.

And do that he does...he's handed a dinner invitation by his boss hot on the heels of his very public humiliation by Rachel, and of course is all set for it to turn into a fiasco...especially when he meets the boss's handsome, sparkling dominant nephew. Who is all of eighteen. And beautiful.

And interested in thirty-year-old Arnie.

That CAN'T be right.

What follows is the journey to self-acceptance and to learning about accepting acceptance. Arnie is, at long last, among people who want to be with him. That's an intoxicating feeling to someone not accustomed to it. Arnie blossoms into a happy, still-nebbishy middle-aged guy. I'd've been a lot less kind if he'd suddenly changed completely, but he's a better-adjusted version of himself at the end of the book—not someone suddenly tured into a confident, self-motivated dudebro.

I liked this read just fine, and appreciated its positive resolution that stayed within realistic outcomes. A lot of guys could identify with nebbishy Arnie Violet. His trajectory, while pat (as expected in this genre), is never incredible. It's a warm comforting thing to see this ordinary no one much get to live out his happy dream.

No matter how banal the dream may be.

LOVE, HATE & CLICKBAIT, fake dating in the political sphere with added gayness

LOVE, HATE & CLICKBAIT
LIZ BOWERY
MIRA Books
$15.99 trade paper, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Shake some hands. Kiss some coworkers.

Cutthroat political consultant Thom Morgan is thriving, working on the governor of California’s presidential campaign. If only he didn’t have to deal with Clay Parker, the infuriatingly smug data analyst who gets under Thom’s skin like it’s his job. In the midst of one of their heated and very public arguments, a journalist snaps a photo, but the image makes it look like they’re kissing. As if that weren’t already worst-nightmare territory, the photo goes viral—and in a bid to secure the liberal vote, the governor asks them to lean into it. Hard.

Thom knows all about damage control—he practically invented it. Ever the professional, he’ll grin and bear this challenge as he does all others. But as the loyal staffers push the boundaries of “giving the people what they want,” the animosity between them blooms into something deeper and far more dangerous: desire. Soon their fake relationship is hurtling toward something very real, which could derail the campaign and cost them both their jobs…and their hearts.

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My Review: Sarcastic psychopath meets delusional dork (probably on the dyspraxic spectrum), picks on him mercilessly until they fall in love after becoming a cute internet meme that helps their tin-eared sociopathic boss in her presidential campaign. Except hijinks ensue and the boys get together. Oh...the psychopathic one? He starts out using/abusing women, this is his first sexual anything with a man. So there's that, too.

It's mean-spirited a lot of the time, which I honestly count in its favor. Author Bowery obviously knows real people like this, she's way too good at both guys' pathologies not to. And the campaign staffers are just *perfect* in their utter and complete soulless indifference to things like others' feelings. It isn't like I have to spend time with them in real life so I can enjoy the terribleness of their callous uncaring ways.

Clay, the delusional dork on the dyspraxic spectrum, is the butt of many jokes and always has been, as we're made aware. I'm not advocating the treatment Clay receives as a come-on or a stay-away quality. I think a lot of socially awkward people would cringe in recognition but I don't know exactly if it would be cathartic or traumatic. It's that much of a toss-up in my mind whether the author's also laughing or making the laughing clods look even worse by not shoving her own reaction at us readers. I actually give points for that. You are left to make up your own mind. I approve of this.

Thom the psychopath, though, isn't played for ambiguity. He has this complex of symptoms, acts out, and is held up as an awful person...until he isn't. Because he's falling ever so slowly in love with a certain tall, dark, and dorky dude. Who seems to be leaning in to their fake wedding (don't ask, just go with it) and the way Thom can make his archenemies freeze to the floor with some truly sick, volcanically hot burns.

Mostly, the beginning of the story is there to set the stakes in romantic fiction. There are enough stakes to go around as these two unappealing people peel off their mannerisms to get to the man inside the ever-baggier suits of fakery. There's a guitar-and-waffles moment when it's all coming together, and they're really connecting over the ordinary stuff of life. Of course Something Happens, and their little moment is lost. I got honestly invested at that point.

The leisurely path to the real relationship is, to my surprise, through the bedroom. There's no little authorial squickiness, either, just two eager, horny men. Sex between men who won't, can't, or don't identify as gay is (as I trust y'all who've been here more than once to know) no news whatever. Been goin' on forever. But these two, in this situation? It's hard for me to figure out why Author Bowery didn't pull the veil over the events but instead she chose the direct path. Did herself proud, too. Her characters don't shy away from the physical responses that real people have, like Thom having a moment's ickiness over the aftermath of sex. It was handled right. It didn't interrupt the story's flow but channeled it closer than ever to the goal of getting these guys past their initial misconceptions about themselves, and therefore each other.

Every step of the way, as Thom felt himself feel for someone else what he's never felt for himself, he fell a little lower in my estimation. He kept being horrible! Truly terrible! And, well...that fall from a height that pride goeth (and pride goeth) before? Pride wenteth. Thom and his belovèd Clay each lost illusions. Clay gained so much self-respect and honest power from losing them! Thom, sad little naked waif huddled in the rain, won much more when he finally realized that standing up means laying down the weapons that defended your badly designed walls.

It's a romance! There's HEA in the social contract of reading them! The wonderful part of *this* HEA is getting there. How it looks? Who knows if this could happen or not...but I'm willing to say it should happen.

THE CHARM OFFENSIVE, keeping struggles real...in a fairy-tale world? Go on!

THE CHARM OFFENSIVE
ALISON COCHRUN
Atria Books
$11.99 ebook editions, available now

Rating: 4.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Dev Deshpande has always believed in fairy tales. So it’s no wonder then that he’s spent his career crafting them on the long-running reality dating show Ever After. As the most successful producer in the franchise’s history, Dev always scripts the perfect love story for his contestants, even as his own love life crashes and burns. But then the show casts disgraced tech wunderkind Charlie Winshaw as its star.

Charlie is far from the romantic Prince Charming Ever After expects. He doesn’t believe in true love, and only agreed to the show as a last-ditch effort to rehabilitate his image. In front of the cameras, he’s a stiff, anxious mess with no idea how to date twenty women on national television. Behind the scenes, he’s cold, awkward, and emotionally closed-off.

As Dev fights to get Charlie to open up to the contestants on a whirlwind, worldwide tour, they begin to open up to each other, and Charlie realizes he has better chemistry with Dev than with any of his female co-stars. But even reality TV has a script, and in order to find to happily ever after, they’ll have to reconsider whose love story gets told.

I CHECKED THIS BOOK OUT OF MY LIBRARY. THANK GOODNESS FOR LIBRARIES...USE YOURS SOON!

My Review: Reality TV isn't. I realize that's just the most startling thing you've ever read, but it is true. What it is, though, is made by real people and it features real people, with real emotions and feelings; they aren't dolls or puppets or robots. And while that's not something I expect most adults really need telling, intellectually, it's not...um...real. Somehow. (There will be, one day, a better vocabulary for these feelings-at-a-remove. I live for that day.)

But the thing that Author Cochrun did, in creating gorgeous OCD-having anxiety-experiencing Charlie, is something I think the world of reality TV, Romancelandia, and the entire entertainment world could do with a lot more of: She humanized the beautiful façades in a kind, supportive, and genuinely entertaining way. Her decision to make gawky, geeky Dev into a multifaceted man, her decision to have these two men, fractured and frantically trying to keep their heads above the dark, cold waters of mental illness's difficult times, find and learn about and accept each other is something still too rare. It is laudable, and the way she made it believable earns my admiration.

I can see a lot of eyes rolling at the idea of a gorgeously chiseled six-pack-sportin' tech millionaire having anxiety and OCD problems. Truth is many beautiful-looking people are beset by issues that onlookers don't think to wonder if they experience. The very idea is foreign..."if I only had money and/or looked like X I'd be happy all the time!"...but it honestly should shame us how much stock we put in that nonsense. People have problems. And when they're rich or beautiful or famous, they shouldn't. So when they do....

Brava, Author Cochrun, for slapping an ace on top of that tired old trick.

Then there's the Fun-Guy trope! Life of the party, always a laugh...he couldn't be depressed, he's got this great job and look at how many people he laughs his nights away with!...but the same logic applies. It's another good deed done to remind us that there's no one immune from the hurts of being alive. Putting the two of them together in this highly artificial, addicted-to-surfaces world was a great idea, and one that Author Cochrun pulled off with admirable aplomb.

What works well, works well. There's a minor plot-point left dangling, and there were two (2) foul, heinous, scum-dripping w-bombs. So there went that half-star. But there's no reason to go full-tilt ramming-speed mental when a medium-steam rom-com featuring two genuinely love-worthy, genuinely love-giving, thoroughly sweet men gets told in sentences like this:

Charlie hasn’t met many people like this—people who don’t make assumptions about you when they discover your brain doesn’t work like theirs; people who don’t judge you; people who simply stay with you and ask what they can do to help. People who trustingly hand you all of themselves in PDF form.
–and–
{He} curls into the fetal position inside the shower. This is what regret tastes like: regurgitated tequila and dirty cotton balls.
–and–
“It doesn’t have to be,” she says, “and you’re not obligated to figure it out, or come out, or explain yourself to anyone, ever. But also”—she drops her hands from their spectrum and tucks an arm around his shoulder—“labels can be nice sometimes. They can give us a language to understand ourselves and our hearts better. And they can help us find a community and develop a sense of belonging. I mean, if you didn’t have the correct label for your OCD, you wouldn’t be able to get the treatment you need, right?” {hear the Gospel of Saint Parisa, everybody!}
–and–
He pauses, and {his lover} explodes. “That’s such bullshit! There are so many people who have done actual terrible things who are actively working in tech! Mark Zuckerberg exists! And firing someone for having OCD—that’s got to be illegal."
–and–
"I don’t think happily ever after is something that happens to you...I think it’s something you choose to do for yourself.”

There's just no reason not to get this book, sink into it, and let the beauty of its fantasy world soothe crappy, warlike reality's wrinkles and creases right out of your face to be replaced by smiles.

HOW TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, a sweet HEA straight rom-com

HOW TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR (Jansen Brothers #2)
SOPHIE SULLIVAN
St. Martin's Press
$16.99 trade paper, available now

Rating: 3.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Enemies-to-lovers meets HGTV in this frothy, effervescent romantic comedy from Sophie Sullivan, author of Ten Rules for Faking It.

Interior Design School? Check. Cute house to fix up? Check.

Sexy, grumpy neighbor who is going to get in the way of your plans? Check. Unfortunately.

Grace Travis has it all figured out. In between finishing school and working a million odd jobs, she’ll get her degree and her dream job. Most importantly, she’ll have a place to belong, something her harsh mother could never make. When an opportunity to fix up—and live in—a little house on the beach comes along, Grace is all in. Until her biggest roadblock moves in next door.

Noah Jansen knows how to make a deal. As a real estate developer, he knows when he's found something special. Something he could even call home. Provided he can expand by taking over the house next door—the house with the combative and beautiful woman living in it.

With the rules for being neighborly going out the window, Grace and Noah are in an all-out feud. But sometimes, your nemesis can show you that home is always where the heart is.

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My Review: When Irresistible Force Met Immovable Object is a romantic-fiction staple. The reason it works, time upon time after time, is that the plot never stops feeling...probable, plausible, possible. "Surely *I* will succeed where others have failed," we think with the point-of-view character. The gendered expressions of this...a man who needs to Fix It, a woman who needs to Change It...are both present here.

Why does it work? Because we're told it will, does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy? Um...how's that workin' in real life, then....

So reading this iteration of the old story is pointless, then? Nope. Not a bit of it, as you'll find out when you settle in for a dank winter's afternoon of page-borne cheerfulness. Two people with frankly selfish agendas meet with no obvious path to compromise, only of necessity the victory of Party A over Party B. For most of human history that set-up plays out that way. Given the nature of Grace's upbringing I expected it to be that way this time too, with her gladly giving up her utterly unknown grandparents' little bungalow for the handsome prince's home. Why, there's a way we can subvert expectations, thinks Author Sullivan...so instead of making Grace a gracious loser who wins the bigger prize, the neighbors mend their fences (figurative and literal) in more lasting ways. Therein the way the subversion works best.

What plays well with me, maybe predictably, is Grace's (ugh) gracious (sorry) inclusion of elders in her life. Her deeply toxic mother wasn't a mom, and her thus-inevitable lifelong search for found family is relatable to me. What makes it even sweeter, in the sugary sense, is that she volunteers for caretaker duties with older men who need her for practical reasons...Morty's the proverbial old fool whose unwillingness to grow up even as he grows old will be the death of him much to his gal-pal (NOT "girlfriend" ugh!) Tilly's disgust...but whom she in her turn needs for the long-missing and urgently needed sense of Belonging that older people anchor younger ones with. It is something I've played out from both sides at different times in my life, and it's always worked out well. So far.

So that's the plus side...the downside is real too. The two characters alternate viewpoints, which I approve of as a device in these "he-said-she-said" narratives. The execution...

"You're a very curious and capable woman."

She beamed at him. "Thank you."

He just laughed. Maybe the women he usually hung out with liked different compliments.
–and–
Biting his cheek to keep from smiling, he nodded, then asked, "You think I'm handsome?"

She turned away before her eyeroll was complete. "I'm about to Julia Roberts your credit cards so make sure you're prepared."

No points for guessing which is from whose point of view. Grace gets the best lines...it is really her book, so fair enough...but if you go to the trouble of setting up the dichotomy, even out the benefits for it to work as well as it can. I was more convinced that these insta-luuuv sufferers were being presented to me this way so I would really understand why the lust each quite justifiably fell into went deeper. This was undermined by the aforementioned inequality of quality, if you'll forgive the excursion into recursion.

There is quite a cast of characters to keep track of...Rosie, Chris are the BFFs but Chris is also a sibling; Kyle's a contractor whose life as a dad we're treated to glimpses of but Josh is another whose appearances are frequent enough that I was left wondering why he wasn't a bigger part of the story...though I myownself don't see that as a problem, it does contribute to what I honestly feel is a big one: It's too long. I'm interested in Grace's interior design process, I'm appreciative of that layer of verisimilitude offered me, and I still want less of it. The exchanges with Morty and Tilly are amusing, but honestly? Less is more, emulate Le Corbusier when you're inching up on 400pp. And, I realize this is probably just me, but good goddesses please no more painting-as-foreplay! I got headaches from it.

In the end, as one knows it will, the story's HEA comes as no surprise but does come wrapped in a semi-lethal dose of feel-goodish sweetness. It's a lovely moment, the one that ends the book, and would film well...something I don't doubt was in the author's mind...and it gives us the thing that romantic fiction readers need: closure without foreclosure. The parties are together, big shock; but they're not on shaky ground, there's no magical elimination of the obstacles in their world. That always means to me that the author's got respect for her readers. Using deus ex machina is always a cheap trick and it's one that Sophie Sullivan did not succumb to the obvious pointers to use. Kudos for that, and could you please use your PowerPoint skills to wean other authors off it?

HOT MALL SANTA, Xmas silliness & steamy fun; & A COP FOR CHRISTMAS, less steam but as much silliness & fun

A COP FOR CHRISTMAS
JAMIE FESSENDEN
Self-published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$2.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Mason Collier isn’t big on authority figures. When Office Steve Coleman pulls him over and gives him a speeding ticket, he doesn’t react well. He’s even less happy when he discovers the cop lives next door to his parents’ house.

No matter where they turn this holiday season, Steve and Mason keep running into each other, and whenever they talk for more than a minute, they piss each other off. But from wayward dogs to Christmas tree hunts to maple syrup festivals, it proves impossible to avoid each other in the small town.

If Mason can see the good man behind the badge, he might just get a cop for Christmas.

THIS WAS A GIFTIE FROM DEARLY BELOVÈD RONI!

My Review: Pretty much straight-people safe! Moderate steam!

One thing to know about this story is the whole reason these guys work as a couple from the jump is they're the only kind of guys the other thinks about. They're just primed, ready to go, when they meet. Being attracted to someone's essential presentation of self is a good quick-start to instaluuuv.

“I’m all for getting some sleep—I’m wiped. But I wouldn’t object to a little cuddling.”

Steve’s eyebrows twitched. And something much, much lower on his body twitched too. “Um… sure. We could do that.”

“Did I shock you? Collier men aren’t known for being subtle.”

Steve laughed. “Well, Coleman men kind of need to be hit over the head.”

“Consider yourself hit over the head, then.”

I love the calm way Steve the cop makes his sexual versatility obvious. I love Mason's equally calm clarity that he's bottoming being so matter-of-fact.

“I told you,” Steve said, fishing {a condom} out and examining it. “Jackie is a woman of the world. And, no, I don’t mean she sleeps around. I mean her life would make a great novel, she’s probably the smartest person I know, and this isn’t the first time she’s had guests who might need condoms and lube. Is this for my dick or yours?”

“Yours.”

Cute. Sweet. So cheerfully positive!

“We forgot to put a snowman at the end of the driveway, so I volunteered to stand here until morning.”

“Wiseass. Are you going back inside or do you want a ride somewhere?”

That was kind of a dumb question. Where the hell would he be going on foot in a snowstorm? But Mason couldn’t resist saying, “I’ll go wherever you’re going.”

See? Sweet! Two w-bombs lowered the score a half-point, and another half-point died when Author Fessenden made two not-snarky not-unkind mentions of Thomas Kinkade Painter of Light™. But on balance, it does what it says it will do on the box so here you go: small-town sweetness and one (1) full sex scene.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HOT MALL SANTA
A.J. TRUMAN
Self-published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$2.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: You better watch out. You better not cry. Hot Mall Santa is coming to town!

Instead of round and jolly, this year’s mall Santa is chiseled and smoldering. The second he strolls into Oakville Mall wearing sunglasses, stubble, and his Santa hat cocked to the side, Santa gets all the tongues wagging—especially Tom Webster’s. A lowly retail associate at The Décor Store, Tom spends his time chasing a promotion and boss that are both out of reach. His fantasies about being a ho-ho-ho for Santa soon cross into reality after an unexpected night together. While the rest of the town obsesses over Hot Mall Santa, Tom gets to know the sweet, nerdy history buff under the suit and six-pack abs. But to win Santa’s heart, he must fight off the lusty moms, adoring fans, and his own fear of rejection.

Hot Mall Santa is a fun and sexy novella at 32,000 words filled with nutty Christmas shoppers, a grown man wearing reindeer antlers, and too many holiday puns.

THIS WAS A YULE GIFT FROM DEAR, SWEET RONI. THANK YOU!

My Review: Cute'n'steamy...the line forms out the mall doors to get some lap time with Hot Mall Santa!

“He was like the living embodiment of sex. His beard was pulled down, and he had these amazing cheeks and jaw. It’s like whatever the cheek and jaw equivalent is to an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.”

You're getting just what it says on the package: hot guy does crummy job & looks great doing it.

“It’s weird when all people do is compliment something about you that you had no part in. It’s not like being praised for something I’ve done or made. Just something I am. Like a zoo animal.”

Poor guy...he's not even taken at face value, just value of face. What makes it Xmas fun us that job is being Santa. What a cute Horny Hallmark this would be! And the pleasure of Tom waking up to being used by his boss...Randall being such a mensch...it's got the Holiday formula down.

He grabbed at Randall’s faux fur-trimmed lapels and pulled him closer, shoving his tongue into his pretty, Hot Mall Santa mouth. His hands traveled across his chest and tumbled down his washboard ads. Tom had thought that washboard abs were something that only existed in cologne ads.

There's no time like the present to get your good luck handled. And handle him Tom does! The charm of sex scenes with plenty of detail will likely be lost on the straighter folk. You're not likely to get the "ordinary-guy-bags-the-buff-bod" now are you? Haw! There was an entire film about that, the woman was tubby and the guy thought she was gorgeous and people lapped it up...so don't prim your lips and start carryin' on about objectifyin' and such-like quite so fast.

What makes this story fun to read is the way the author decided to make the pretty-boy hung like a stallion and good with it into a nerd. It's like discovering Henry Cavill plays video games and TTRPGs and the like. He's proof that Randall isn't a complete fantasy object. This was harmless fun, spiced with hot sex and sweet lovingkindness.

They got out of the car. A light dusting of snow began to fall from the sky. It was nothing a Midwesterner couldn’t handle. Tom doubted it would even stick to the roads. Randall treated it as the most beautiful precipitation he’d ever seen. It was probably his first white Christmas. He held his hands out to touch it, lifted his head, laughed as it dotted his cheeks. Who knew that beneath the raging sex appeal, there would be a layer of dorkiness, and that it could be nothing short of adorable?

You're getting exactly what it says on the package, so is that what you want? It was what I wanted and it went down a treat.

THE GENTLE ART OF FORTUNE HUNTING, exciting and artful while showing sharp teeth

THE GENTLE ART OF FORTUNE HUNTING
K.J. CHARLES
KJC Books (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$3.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Robin Loxleigh and his sister Marianne are the hit of the Season, so attractive and delightful that nobody looks behind their pretty faces.

Until Robin sets his sights on Sir John Hartlebury’s heiress niece. The notoriously graceless baronet isn’t impressed by good looks, or fooled by false charm. He’s sure Robin is a liar—a fortune hunter, a card sharp, and a heartless, greedy fraud—and he’ll protect his niece, whatever it takes.

Then, just when Hart thinks he has Robin at his mercy, things take a sharp left turn. And as the grumpy baronet and the glib fortune hunter start to understand each other, they also find themselves starting to care—more than either of them thought possible.

But Robin's cheated and lied and let people down for money. Can a professional rogue earn an honest happy ever after?

THIS WAS A LOVELY SURPRISE GIFT FROM MY YOUNG GENTLEMAN CALLER. THANK YOU, MY LOVE.

My Review: It requires a particular kind of innocence and faith to be a gambler. I have never had that innocence and I don't think the gods like it when one uses words like "faith" in connection to cynical, bitter people like me. So the fact that a significant portion of this tale takes place in gambling hells and among those who see some...merit? value?...in the damnfoolishness of gambling chafed on my nerve. I was, of course, perfectly prepared for the fortune hunting. After all, it's in the title. And I myownself have never had any negative judgment of fortune hunters who live up to their bargain. (I also see no problem with porn models and other sex workers getting paid to do things I did for free back when there was interest in having me do them. To me, it means they're better at business than I was, not immoral or broken or bad.)

An entirely different conversation, one far more impassioned and full of moral thunderation, would be had if we were to discuss the system that makes these options not only viable but desirable and even, on sadly frequent occasions, necessary. That is not where we are in this particular Regency romance.

It does, however, come very close to being the conversation that Robin and Hart end up having, in several different forms, several different times. What makes the read worth its frustrations (I am impatient in the face of self-righteousness and annoyed by selfish, self-serving blinders on powerful people) is the fact that Author Charles writes the scenes of conflict between privileged and petitioner without for a moment forgetting that each is, in the final analysis, correct; only their viewpoints need to be altered, their idées fixes challenged at the source. And it's no surprise to me that Author Charles knows the essential truth of change: to work, it has to be to not merely from. Which requires a huge jolt of Want. A clinging tendril of need can't help but speed up the fall of the old and the triumph of the new.

Does anyone know a better way to add powerful want and many tendrils of need than to use sex? I don't. And with Hart's Position and his Code, well...them changes were a-gonna smother before moving anything a millimeter. Robin's wantonness, his unfeigned joy in the glorious work of sensual pleasure, means he is in a unique and effective position (!) to effect badly needed, salubrious changes in the essentially caring heart within Hart.

“Sorry? You want to kiss me?”

Hart was still looking away, but Robin could see his ears redden. “You need not, if it is not to your taste.”

“Jesus wept. Of course it is to my taste. I thought it would be spikes and a dildo.” Hart made a spluttering noise.

There it is. Reduced to its essence, there is the book: Are we having the same conversation about the same subject? Do we trust each other enough to find out? And in the end, are there words for what we need...from Life, from each other?

Finding one whose ability to offer that which one actually needs and still isn't overmatched by their own needs...that is a dim, receding dream for many, if not most, people throughout history. It makes the offer of Happily Ever After one of the romance genre's sweetest siren songs. Add onto that dismal truth the way the world has (and still does) treat gay men...the need for a dose of unreality in the form of seeing others, imperfect others more like we actually are, succeed in its attainment is ever urgent. This story's achievement of the HEA is quite dramatic, very theatrical, and damn near begs to be committed to film. I'm not at all sure the sex scenes would make it onto the screen...hell, I'm quite sure they would not because the sex...it's really not suitable for straight people. I can say that, while I get it and would never demand that straight people open their minds a bit more as a group, some of the more willing to challenge their boundaries would do very well to make this book a toe-dipper into thinking without judgment about gay sex. There is absolutely no coercion, no forcing, no shortage of imaginative and playful coupling in the story. I think many IRL couples could do worse than emulate Hart and Robin's ways and means.

Why I'm rating this four stars, instead of the five it sounds like I'm awarding, is easily explained: These men are damned abrasive. The effort of reading while screaming in the first third of the story told against the thrill of the ball. It's not like everyone needs to be likeable or that all the traffic lights need to turn green immediately...the struggle to connect was effective, and it felt as though this HEA was earned.

The problem was the relentlessly self-righteous Hart and the revoltingly self-serving Robin. It was sold to me as "this is how these men are." It wasn't ever UNsold. It was a lot to ask me to simply...jettison...all that, even with the later pillow talk that blew the cobwebs away. Had it been more evenly apportioned throughout the book, say to other characters as well not simply the men in their safe cocoon sharing, I might've been less brought up short at the ball scene's events. I might've been more willing to invest in that sharing. As it was, I was already too set in my response of them being damaged to shift easily into feeling them to be as wounded, hurt as they each actually were.

It is not a fatal flaw. It was a case of seeing the road to the highest peak go on after I got off the ride. And yet, make no mistake, I'd go on the ride again! This read was a pleasure and a badly needed one for me. Author Charles makes her stories fizz and snap and sparkle. Come join the fun with this one.

ALL I WANT, as frothy and fun and sweet as a venti toasted white chocolate mocha

ALL I WANT
STELLA STARLING
Self-published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$4.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five, caveat: straight people are strongly cautioned

The Publisher Says: “All I want for Christmas is someone to love.”

Shy retail clerk Elliott Gaffney’s Christmas wish isn’t something Santa can grant him, but that doesn’t stop it from being his favorite time of year. Especially since he gets to work at Chicago’s prestigious Ashby’s department store in “the North Pole,” doing his part to make the magic of Christmas come alive for others.

All Bennett “Ash” Ashby wants for Christmas is to forget about it. Unfortunately, his father is forcing him to pay penance for the media frenzy caused by his latest public sex scandal. The Ashby heir, working as a lowly department store Santa? Only the fact that no one will know it’s really him can save Ash the embarrassment of being stuck in a fat suit instead of partying with his friends.

But when Elliott catches Ash’s eye, Christmas starts to look a whole lot brighter. And even though Elliott would never have the guts to say yes if he knew who Ash really was, falling for “Ben,” the new Santa, is another story all together…

I RECEIVED THIS HOLIDAY THEMED ROMANCE AS A FREEBIE ON AMAZON.

My Review: There are far, far, far too many w-bombs (over a dozen!) in this book. A few of them at the beginning are not what they initially seem to be, but the fact is that they don’t stop coming.

Speaking of coming…there’s more of that than I expected in a silly frothing Holiday-season treat like this book. It was an agreeable surprise that I got as much as I did, since it suited my mood that day perfectly. What was also comforting and comfortable was the plot’s absence of fanciness. There wasn’t anything grafted on or poked through to make it more Writerly. It’s a straightforward workplace grump-and-sunshine romp with the usual status and wealth gap.

“Ben” aka Ash the company’s big-boss’s son is forced among the hoi polloi for Xmas…into duty as the flagship store’s Santa! Tell me that’s for a single second believable…but Elliott, the humorously cast nutcracker positioned next to Santa, is there to whisper in “Ben”’s ear the requisite clues on how to handle the kiddies. Which he instantly turns into winning charm and sweetness!

Okay. So you see the Disbelief-alaya you’re going to be required to climb. Summiting K2 in tuxedo slippers without external oxygen would be easier for many, including me in another mood.

Also stretching one’s credulity muscles: Ash is being punished for being caught by the paparazzi in a car having sex with a fellow company director. (No word on that poor bastard’s fate. Can’t’ve been pretty.) Ash’s Page-Six priors are all with socially acceptable men…models, celebs, the like…and Ash’s father, while disapproving of his latest and one must acknowledge supremely stupid escapade, is barely even implied to be upset that it’s with a man. Just that man. And that he got caught. (Even when Ash's earlier struggles to be his queer self are touched on, they aren't foregrounded.)

For Elliott, whose gayness also isn’t remotely disapproved of by his gay and RGBFF colleagues at the store, “Ben” is the “pinch me I must be dreaming” guy, the one whose Look you intercept and turn around to see who he’s looking at…and it’s YOU!...and the bells ring and the birds sing! *wistful sigh* memories do have power.

For Ash, Elliott’s sincere and bone-deep love of the magical way the Holidays make happiness so much easier to find and to share is intoxicating. A sincere pleasure is a rare thing in the world of the very privileged. Everything is much less simple when you’re rich. Every apple has a worm; every horse is Trojan. It’s all very easy…there’s always someone whose job it is to do the labor…but you pay (and pay and pay) for it with the complete and total absence of simplicity. This is why Marie Kondo’s nonsense is so very appealing to wealthy people.

The end product of these two very different men coming (!) together is a somewhat unsustainable HEA. We're in a romance world, but still a HFN would've worked fine...and left room for Reality. These are people from radically different backgrounds, and while opposites attract, similarities endure. You're given many chances to see bits of Ash's growing up process (eg, the Grinch call from his dad, his rescue of the dog and subsequent ability to overcome his collywobbles at dealing with poochie's ticks) and similar opportunities to see Elliott coming to terms with his quite normal fears about someone as handsome as Ash falling for him. But really? What my brain says is, "not a damn chance, they're from different worlds, they'll run out of common ground in seconds flat." The gift Stella Starling has is for making my sentimental "I always cry at weddings" side ruthlessly club that bastard into submission and take over the endocrine system, flooding me with oxytocin. I want to bond, so I want Ash and Elliott to bond, and therefore the...um...not-sturdy framework (too harsh to call it "flimsy" but...) of this relationship Is. Just. FINE.

That issue firmly dealt with (ignore the muffled screams coming from my closet-locked logic centers), we can touch on (!) the sex scenes: Hot enough, not too many or too few, and VERY MUCH NOT HETERO SAFE. No! Down! The mechanics of deflowering a man aren't skimped or dwelt on; and, for a wonder, the top's the PoV character! That's not ordinary, and Stella Starling did a good job of it...sadly, not the usual case. All three of the sex scenes have a certain...lovingkindness...to them, so they're not icky but they're likely to be uncomfortably detailed for those whose tastes don't run towards men with men.

At all events, this is a novel, not a novella; this is a story, not a set-up delivered with pretty wrapping paper; and this won't weigh you down as you're sipping your venti toasted white chocolate mocha, pondering how to survive the weirdness of a second Plague Yule. Smiles and fun all the way, please, Bibliosanta!

THE BARBARIAN DUET, two gay fantasy romances telling one couple's

WED TO THE BARBARIAN
KEIRA ANDREWS (The Barbarian Duet #1)
KA Books
$4.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: Will an innocent prince forced into marriage choose passion?

Sheltered in the palace with his books, Jem’s life is peaceful. Even if he’s lonely and yearning for romance, the big, strong men he wants don’t crave small, timid princes.

Then he’s forced to marry a mysterious barbarian.

Jem must do his duty—even if it means being stuck with Cador, a brute who dismisses him as weak. Even if it means a fake marriage in name only for the sake of their homelands. Even if he must leave behind everything and everyone to journey to a forbidding island of ice and stone.

Even if there’s only one bed.

Alone with this wild—yet tender?—man, Jem discovers desire that burns hotter than he ever imagined. Can two strangers learn to trust, or will dangerous lies tear them apart?

Wed to the Barbarian by Keira Andrews is a gay romance fantasy featuring enemies to lovers, an age gap, forced proximity, first times, and of course a happy ending (eventually). This is the first action-adventure romance in the Barbarian Duet and must be read before The Barbarian’s Vow.


I RECEIVED THE DUET FROM AN EXCITED ELF. YOU WERE SO RIGHT: CAN’T BE WITHOUT BOTH!

My Review: I don’t recall reading anything by Keira Andrews before this duology, which honestly I think is best called a “Duet”...a choral piece for two voices, invoking lovely, layered harmonies and rich contrapuntal passages of musical intensity. There are things about it I didn’t enjoy, but on balance, this secondary-world fantasy is enjoyable and well worth reading.

Twenty-year-old Prince Jowan of Neuvella, in the land of Onan (!), is small, slight, and shy. He doesn’t particularly like his big, butch older brothers who have a history of playing pranks on him and making him feel picked on and targeted. His non-binary older sibling Santo is more to his taste, being artistic and far less hearty-big-guy. Jem, as he’s called by one and all, is very much a dreamer, a soft-hearted animal rescuer, a romance-fantasy-novel reader, and a deeply unwilling virgin. He’s at a seasonal summit meeting with his parents, the Queen of Neuvella and her consort; he’s bored out of his mind by the politicking and the ceremonial stuff. He decidedly is not bored by the barbarian hotties from newly-returned-to-the-fold Ergh to the north...he’s been eyeing one of them up pretty thoroughly, tall broad and handsome in his leathers and furs blond god Cador.

Unrepentant horndawg Cador can’t be arsed to look at anyone from Onan, effete little weaklings whose dark skins and eyes are signs of soft, luxurious living impossible in cold, northerly Ergh. But he, too, is bored out of his mind, and dreading his inevitable fate: Marrying one of the weakings, a Prince apparently called Jowan. Whichever one he is. But his tas, the Chieftain of Rusk and leader of Ergh, has made this marriage a duty he can not avoid...he doesn’t want to marry anyone, still less a foreigner, but he must or there will be dreadful, dreadful consequences, things that are bad will become terrible, unbearable.

And so the reindeer games begin! The culture of Onan (!) is sex positive, identity fluid, and clearly set for a major conflict. The royal alliance that’s being formalized here between Ergh and Neuvella (the one that’s about to be sprung on uninformed and unsuspecting Jem) is meant to solidify ties with the newly reunited with their polity “barbarians”. They’ve all come seeking trade, and other advantages that are revealed slowly over the course of the two stories. The cost is to be borne by Jem and Cador, unwilling husbands bound by the gods to serve their parents’ aims for their peoples.

What happens is a good story of young men who love their families and their ways of life, and whose sense of duty impels them to behave with all the honor and honesty they can in every situation. The obstacles to the pair becoming more than political mates are, bit by bit, overcome, climbed over, or worked around. They’re very, very compatible in bed. Their sex life is vigorous, once it begins. I don’t happen to like that kind of sex, not finding humiliation at all erotically enticing. Lots of flippity-flippity-flip until the “dirty talk” ended.

What I was invested in was these men’s world. I think their culture was interestingly drawn, with its clear and unambiguous rejection of binding gender roles and abundantly evident sexual freedom. The cultural conflicts over religion were framed interestingly...the clerics, male and female, are not particularly welcome in Ergh, whose people’s long-ago exodus from Onan (!) included leaving “the gods” behind. Now that there’s a major crisis in Ergh, the clerics have sought to use it to bring these lost folk back into the fold...and under the clerics’ power. This is not to Cador’s taste, nor to Jem’s, as it turns out. Neither man is eager to see the clerics expand their power over the people.

The time Jem spends in Ergh, where he and Cador live together in a rough unprincely manner, changes him. He is eager to be part of Cador’s world once their initial wary hostility is overcome, once they begin to accept and love each other for their unique selves. But there are secrets, ugly, terrible secrets, at the heart of his marriage to Cador. These come to light in hurtful, painful ways that re-open Jem’s barely healed trust wounds inflicted by his hearty dudebro brothers during his childhood. And then, as the true depths of the secrets is revealed, Jem’s new and fragile love for Cador is shattered.

That’s where this book ends, and my gift-giving friend said to me in giving me the second book, “can’t leave you without book two!” I protested then that of course, getting any gift was great!

I meant it. But, you see, I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about because I would’ve gone *stark*staring*MAD* if I hadn’t had book two to dive into the very second I finished book one. The story has a great hook for my readerly interests. Religious folk being the bad guys? Say hallelujah! But not being the bad guys because they are persecuting gay people for being gay? Bring the jubilee! This world, this secondary world of “love who you love and be who you are,” is one I’d read about all day long. The fact that the religious establishment is gender blind, solemnizes marriages between people with any plumbing whatever, and is *still* evil...well, it’s like the author ripped my convictions about the nature of religion out of my head and wrote them into this story.

It’s reasonably clear that there is some kind of interesting history to this world, permaybehaps one of colonization from Earth in a past not remembered. How else are there dark- and light-skinned people, living separately, but not divided along “racial” lines? The conflicts in this story are no less bitter and hateful, I grant you, but there’s no sign that the differing skin colors of Jem and Cador feature in any way in their societal conflict. That’s something I approve of, and of course the absence of sex-based or identity-based phobias is much to my liking as well. No sooner did I finish this read than I went on to book two.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THE BARBARIAN'S VOW
KEIRA ANDREWS
KA Books
$4.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: He claimed an innocent prince—and surrendered his heart.

Cador only married a pampered prince from a faraway land to save his people. He never expected he’d grow to respect Jem. He never expected to find comfort with him. He never expected to want him with a fierce passion.

He never expected to fall in love.

Now Cador must secure his people’s future and win Jem’s heart. For without it, he has no future at all.

The Barbarian’s Vow by Keira Andrews is a gay romance fantasy featuring enemies to lovers, an age gap, forced proximity, first times, and of course a happy ending. This is the second and final action-adventure romance in the Barbarian Duet. Wed to the Barbarian must be read first.

I RECEIVED THE DUET FROM AN EXCITED ELF. YOU WERE SO RIGHT: CAN’T BE WITHOUT BOTH!

My Review: Finishing Jem’s and Cador’s story...after the ending of book one, I was wondering how the hell the author was going to get the necessary HEA out of the place she left us! And had my sweet elf not gifted me both of these books, I think I’d’ve behaved like Jem does in this book, scratching at my scalp until it bleeds just to distract myself from the awful agony within.

Luckily this was not necessary.

As the book opens, the badly betrayed Jem and contrite, desperate-to-reconcile Cador are embarking for Onan (!) to meet with Jem’s mother, the Queen of Neuvella, and the clerical hierarchy to solve the pressing issue that’s driven the entire plot. Cador’s initial reasons for marrying Jem have come to light and, as they were truly terrible reasons, base and cruel reasons, Jem is understandably not well disposed towards Cador. He is his husband...he is absolutely not Cador’s friend just now.

As this is a perfectly reasonable response to the things he’s discovered, the hurts that have been inflicted on him, there’s no blame attached to him for being as cold, withdrawn, snarky, and/or unkind as he’s got a mind to be. Yet here he is with Cador and several other of the Erghians who conspired to cause him serious harm. He’s actively working to solve this terrible problem. He’s got all the Good Boy Points in this scenario.

What transpires from the moment the ship lands can only be described as a clusterfuck. There is not a single, solitary moment when Jem (still angry at all the Erghians) and Cador (trying, trying hard, to make up with Jem) actually communicate. I get it, Author Andrews! Jem’s angry and hurt...but the number of silly and frankly incredible excuses made for them to stay away from having a real conversation stopped working around halfway through the book. It became ridiculous and repetitive.

There were a few other problematic things...Cador’s tas, the chieftain, being absent from his post while the place is in a crisis, for example...but honestly it’s just the silliness of the inner excuses and rationalizations (“I’m so tired, we’ll talk in the morning”) and external obstacles (...and then {someone} came pounding on the door! Or “the Queen commanded us to…”) put in the way of these men having a simple conversation that wore on me. The more there were the less credible they were.

Worldbuilding issues were present as well. Why, for example, are there maple trees and horses and chickens and goats and boars...but also sevel fruit and tew trees and dillywig birds? Speaking of sevel fruits, there is a reason that these are precious that is made obvious to us. But how the effect these fruits have could simply have gone unnoticed by humanity for so long is utterly unclear, unexplained. The issue of the condition sevel fruits prevent is one that has haunted humanity for millennia. It’s unlikely that people have forgotten it, given its horrors. And the moment Jem has his realization about the implications of the sevel fruit’s effects being known to some, withheld from others, really demands a lot more story space!

The ending of the tale was, to my mind, about the most encouraging part. For Jem and Cador, their prayers were answered, and for Ergh and Onan (!) as a whole, the best possible changes came about. With the leaders changing, the generations rolling into new grooves, it sounds to me like their futures are indeed bright. I was so enrapt in the story, so invested in its telling, that I am sure I’ll try more of Author Andrews’ stories soon. This duet being over, however, I bid my farewells to Cador and Jem and their families with a happy, wistful smile. If, by some good chance, I see there are new stories set in this world, I am so there!

Just stop with the revolting w-bombs.

RED HEIR, a Houses and Humans quest tale through Aguillon (also, fun m/m romp in homophobia-less secondary world)

RED HEIR
LISA HENRY AND SARAH HONEY
non-affiliate Amazon link
$3.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Imprisoned pickpocket Loth isn't sure why a bunch of idiots just broke into his cell claiming they’re here to rescue the lost prince of Aguillon, and he doesn’t really care. They’re looking for a redheaded prince, and he’s more than happy to play along if it means freedom. Then his cranky cellmate Grub complicates things by claiming to be the prince as well.

Now they’re fleeing across the country and Loth’s stuck sharing a horse and a bedroll with Grub while imitating royalty, eating eel porridge, and dodging swamp monsters and bandits.

Along the way, Loth discovers that there’s more to Grub than meets the eye. Under the dirt and bad attitude, Grub’s not completely awful. He might even be attractive. In fact, Loth has a terrible suspicion that he’s developing feelings, and he’s not sure what to do about that. He’d probably have more luck figuring it out if people would just stop trying to kill them.

Still, at least they’ve got a dragon, right?

I RECEIVED THIS KINDLEBOOK AS A GIFT.

My Review: Once there was, in a Kingdom called Aguillon, a petty thief with a penchant for picking pockets and, um, seducing one could euphemize every male human with a purse that looked fatter than flatter. He's a mouthy git, prone to making it up as he goes along, and as we all know, loose ropes on deck mean nasty falls. Lies and thievery land a lad (not quite as young as once he was, prone to crow's feet) in chokey:

“I suppose you’re wondering how I got into this mess,” he announced loudly in the gloom. The pile of straw on the other side of the cell rustled, and a grubby face appeared.
“I wasn’t. I don’t care.”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Loth said to his cellmate.
“Then who were you talking to?” his cellmate demanded, jutting his jaw out.
“I was soliloquising,” Loth said. “Well, I was hoping to, but somebody won’t shut their mouth.”

And there it is, from the very first lines: What to expect, who's doing what to whom. Gadfly meets bloodmeal. Oh what fun it will be. Banter, bizarreness, and boys...yeup, I'm in a Lisa Henry novel.

So we've met Loth. (I suspect his placeholder name was "Loudmouth" and it got elided.) We've met the cellmate, who has bestowed upon him the utterly unlovely name "Grub" by Loth. Lovely, no? He'll have several other names as the book goes by. He soon gains a, well, unsavory reputation that will come back to haunt Loth, who bestowed that as well.

And then!!!

Where there had once been a wall, there was now a mountain of rubble, with an orc standing on top of it. He was big and ugly by human standards—possibly he was very attractive to other orcs—with two teeth in his bottom jaw protruding from between his lips like tusks.
–and–
The braids woven throughout the beard made Loth think the dwarf was possibly a woman, though it wasn’t always easy to tell with dwarves, and it was considered rude to ask—a lesson he’d learned the hard way.

Dave, the orc, and Ada, the dwarf, have arrived. Dave is dim, but deeply good. Oh, of course he's strong, he's seven feet of greenish-skinned muscle (good luck casting that, Hollywood) and prone to hurling people who don't meet his standards of not-murdering-his-friends like they were shot-puts. Ada, being a dwarf, is one tough customer, and she very quickly makes it clear to all and sundry that she is here to collect a fee for the service of rescuing the red-headed prince in the cell.

But both the rag-bags in the cell are red-headed. One natural, and Loth. But there's a rescue party, a wall that's a functional imitation of a door, and a guard party...tell me you didn't think Loth wouldn't try to be a long-unseen prince held hostage by a murderous, wicked uncle called Lord Doom if it meant getting out of jail.

Together with the anarchist-collectivist elf, Calarian, and the "hero" of the piece (in his own mind) Scott the cowardly dimwit, the six of them skedaddle from the (curiously uninvestigated) scene of the rescue. It's just like the quest that Ser (Bene) Factor promised Scott when he talked him into this lunacy! And as for the Houses and Humans-playing elf, well, his mother slung him out of the house with instructions to move his damned game on the road, so he was ripe for Ser (Bene) Factor's coins as well.

The Swamp of Death (a volcanic overturn with Calarian's studly cousin Benji, more anti-social than most elves, playing monster to keep people away), the ruined royal hunting lodge with a secret passage, the former jailer Ser Greylord who shows up at the lodge...it's a quest.

And is it queer! Good lawsy me, the number of subverted power structures here is epic. Heh. Nothing, not one single thing, is made of anyone's sexual nature. Their behavior gets ribbed a lot...Loth and Grub, later Cue, still later Quinn discover a mutual attraction and go at it hammer and tongs, Benji the faux monster and Calarian the Housemaster (remember the game!), all come in for their share of ribbing but none of it homophobic. In fact, the entire universe the story operates in is laissez-faire regarding sexual behavior, and in a throwaway line we even learn it's no big deal for men to marry each other. (There is an almost complete absence of females, and a complete absence of heterosexual sex, throughout the story. Blissful for me.)

The quest proceeds to the royal capital, Scott gets abused quite a lot, we meet Loth's parents (I loved them and hope they can have a book of their own, Mum would be a great narrator hint hint), we encounter Lord Doom and Scott ends up putting the pieces together for all the merrie band (and gets a broken nose), and all ends up Right With This World. (It's a quest, that's not a spoiler.) And would it surprise you to learn that Dave the orc strikes the final blow for liberty? Only he isn't in the room...there's you a mystery to ponder.

The one question I cannot bear not to have answered is: WHO WAS THE ORIGINAL SCOTT?!? WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU, AUTHOR HENRY?!?

A VIKING FOR YULE, silly fun for the gingerbread-latte drinkers

A VIKING FOR YULE
JAMIE FESSENDEN
Self published (non-affiliate Amazon link)
$2.99 Kindle edition, available now

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: AFTER SAM'S GRANDFATHER nearly died in a blizzard one year ago, Sam has panic attacks in snow storms. So where does his friend Jackie propose they spend the holidays, as the last stop on their trip around the world?

Iceland. Of course.

But there's more in Iceland than snow. When Arnar, a handsome Icelandic man, offers to escort Sam on a several-day tour of the beautiful countryside, they soon find themselves drawn to each other. But Arnar is firmly rooted in his native soil, and Sam has to return to the US in a week to care for his ailing grandfather.

Suddenly, Yule can’t last nearly long enough.

NOTE: Though this novel includes characters from A Cop for Christmas, it is a standalone adventure. It isn’t necessary to read A Cop for Christmas first.

My Review: So sweet little (he's like 5'4") punkin Sam, a bit player in Author Fessenden's prior book A Cop for Christmas, gets his own love story! Jackie, the series (loose, but still counts) non-resident Auntie Mame, whisks Sam away on a world tour after some terrifying stuff happens to him (revealing what is a spoiler for the first book). True to Auntie-form, she hurls him at any number of eligible gay men in the various countries they visit. His timidity and inexperience with the world's many ways of being are, by the time the pair wash up on Iceland's shores for Yuletide, worn into a certain facility if not comfort with the strangeness he's now expecting and encountering.

But there at the international airport is Arnar. Long blond hair, studly muscles, surly attitude...even towards his "Aunt Jackie," whom he's known most of his life. And, if Sam's sharpening gaydar is any guide, a Friend of Dorothy's. Lovely! In every sense. Well, except the whole surly part.

Arnar, for his own part, is mourning the end of his relationship with Stefan (never met but despised by all Arnar's friends). He's hurting but he's a man, so he Notices Sam, being utterly charmed by his ears (of all things)...just not ready to let go of his sadz over the jerk Stefan.

The usual hijinks ensue, as they must in category romances. The Icelandic countryside and December weather play huge roles in the action. The elements are a big part of Arnar and Sam's falling in love with each other. The adventure that, as is ordinary for men, serves to bond them to each other, is largely dependent on weather. It is December in Iceland, after all. And the trope of hero-faces-down-fears is very much present.

But here we come to the crux of my problem with this lovely little bagatelle: By the numbers-ness. I don't believe for a second that, in this book's first draft, these men were the ages they're presented as being, ie thirtyish. They act like early-to-middle twentysomethings. They have packs of friends, just like early-to-middle twenties folk do; they have sullen fits, which frankly know no age but are usually less prevalent in the thirtyish bracket. They Have Adventures, not planning to do things that'll put them at risk like one does in the earlier twenties; they make HUGE life decisions on a whim, and that my dears is a dead give-away that they're nowhere near thirty. Sam has his sole remaining family member, ill and frail Grampy, to care for and about. He has also gone on an around-the-world trip for pretty much a year, at Jackie's behest and on her dime. I don't know about y'all, but that would make me wonder about the sanity of a thirtyish man; not a hair turned in a, say, twenty-five-year-old's case.

And the ending. Hm. While we need the de rigueur HEA, this one strikes me as...forced. It'd be a great last scene in a film. There's an epilogue that contextualizes it, but that's just it...it needs context.

Still! I can't say I read these books for their monumental and earth-shattering insights into character or innovations with the style-book. I read them for fun, and because I can tick off the trope boxes, I don't need to work at comprehending what I'm reading. This is a huge help to me while I'm in the process of getting this miserable apnea problem handled.

BLUE EYED STRANGER, another Trowchester Blues novel

BLUE EYED STRANGER
ALEX BEECROFT Trowchester Blues, #2
Riptide Publishing
$17.99 trade paper, available now

Rating: 4.5* of five

The Publisher Says: Billy Wright has a problem: he’s only visible when he’s wearing a mask. That’s fine when he’s performing at country fairs with the rest of his morris dancing troupe. But when he takes the paint off, his life is lonely and empty, and he struggles with crippling depression.

Martin Deng stands out from the crowd. After all, there aren’t that many black Vikings on the living history circuit. But as the founder of a fledgling historical re-enactment society, he’s lonely and harried. His boss doesn’t like his weekend activities, his warriors seem to expect him to run everything single-handedly, and it’s stressful enough being one minority without telling the hard men of his group he’s also gay.

When Billy’s and Martin’s societies are double-booked at a packed county show, they know at once they are kindred spirits, united by a deep feeling of connectedness to their history and culture. But they’re also both hiding in their different ways, and they need each other to be brave enough to take their masks off and still be seen.

NOTE: The Trowchester Blues series features stand-alone titles that can be read in any order.

My Review: Unstoppable force, this is immovable object. Advise your trajectory can now continue unimpeded.

History geek Martin meets morris dancer Billy. Each is hella hot for the other. Problem 1: Martin's a half-Sudanese/half-Yorkshireman Viking warrior re-enactor. Not exactly the best candidate for romantic kissy-face, more the hot sweaty sex type, oh and shelve that hand-holding lark. Problem 2: Billy suffers the agonizing, debilitating curse of depression. It's all he can do most days to haul himself out of bed and there are times even that isn't on. Problem 3: They can't reach around their barriers to get at each other consistently despite a near-desperate need for the other man's being.

Add in the immigrant parent with impossibly high expectations, the hostile work environment, and the curse of trying to lift words out of the stygian gloom of broken souls...well. It's all I can do to put the book down long enough to tell you to go get it and read it and defy you not to fall in love with these marvelous men before re-reading it.

Yep. Thass right. I, the arch-advocate of "too many new pretties, don't bother me with that re-reading thing" am going to re-read this book as soon as I close my computer because I absolutely can. not. WAIT. to re-experience the ending of this book.

Yep. Thass right. I, the ever-whinging arch-complainer about the unsatisfactoriness of endings that either tie things up tight with Honey Boo-Boo bows or leave so many threads dangling that they resemble old-fashioned fringed vests (waistcoats to y'all Brits) am going to re-savor the beautiful, beautiful ending Ma Beecroft has imagined for this book.

Oh, and that missing half-star? It's the same place that the missing thirty thousand or so words dedicated to Martin's family, Billy's morris dancing side, and the gents' mutual projects are. I'd glower about it some but I'd be fronting. I love what's here enough to demand more. Brevity might well be the soul of lingerie, but it's not on when you're immersed in a deeply satisfying read.

Oh, and the book club crossover is on that list as well. Better pump the MIA count up to thirty-five thou.